romans8 is everything tonight. forward motion. constant progress. steadily moving towards the goal. contemplated giving up…then remembered who&what was given up for me…keep going.

New Blog…

chasewildgoose:

Support the movement. Follow goosegrewup.tumblr.com. Feedback is appreciated. :)

great start to “DON’T KILL MY VIBE THURSDAY” 🎧

y’all, in the bathroom pics, do y’all close the stall doors? or just stand where you can’t see the toilets? y’all coach me…i’m new to this…#trynabeacoolkid #letmeinyall #bathroompic #mycutisfinallycutetho #yallletmerock

New Blog…

Support the movement. Follow goosegrewup.tumblr.com. Feedback is appreciated. :)

— RH

— RH

New blog :)

Hello there! New tumblr as of last weekend. Slide through and support it with a follow, a comment, a smiley face. All love is appreciated. Support the growth.

goosegrewup.tumblr.com

vicks vapor rub. honey. lemon. &smoke.

i am sitting in a silent house, slightly filled with smoke from the last batch of cookies i burnt rushing to make sure my daughter was still breathing. ironically, i baked birthday cake cookies for us today and now she won’t stop coughing long enough to have one. 

so nothing is on. just the sounds of the cars outside passing our house, the hum of the humidifier that’s above her head, and the tapping of the keys on my phone as i write to keep from exploding.

oh..and the sound of her struggling to breathe. 

this is some shit you see in a movie. motherhood, that is. where you get to spend nights like right now wondering if what you’re doing is the best for your child or if you’re merely wasting time that could be spent helping her. or fixing her. 

or saving her. 

moments like this where you doubt your decision, ask others for their decision, doubt their decision, make your own decision, 

and possibly…make the wrong decision. 

like, who the fuck is built for this? i feel like the last 21months of my life have proven my undying loyalty, love, and dedication to my daughter…so why the tests? why do i still have to prove that i pick listening to her breathe over salvaging my house from a fire? i’ve shown that i’ll

run six red lights in a row to get her to an ER in time,

use my rent money to fund her prescriptions, 

sit by her bed every night just to make sure she doesn’t miss a breath…

i am the prime example of pure commitment to loving and raising the seed i bore every day until i die. so when do i get to reap what i’ve sown? when do i get to enjoy the joys of the sweet motherhood that i’ve cried and almost died for? 

when do i get to love my child outside of fearing for her life…

now would be so nice.

like, i deserve that…right? 

wine wood tip.

*imagine me saying this with a half smoked black between my fingers with it’s ash falling on his shoes*

I wish you the best.

And in saying ‘the best’,
I mean the SENSE
to comprehend that
I am the BEST

you’ll ever not get anymore.

but going forward,
I wish you success.
So you can SUCCESSfully
develop immense anxiety
every time you’re undressing your NEW girl
and imagining she’s me.

tsktsk. oh well.
I still wish you well.
And if you still have pics and memories
of days that have no repeats
left,
appearances of me in your dreams,
and when you close your eyes
I hope it gives you hell
to remember me in Vicki’s
you’ll never feel against your skin (chin)
again.

I wish you gain and PROSPERity
how does it feel knowing every dollar you spent on me
is now in vain?
Knowing every time you’re with her,
nothing is the same.
Knowing nothing is similar between
mine and her names,
but you’re still slipping occasionally,
still holding a space for me
in a heart you swore
you don’t have anymore.

(scoffs) (takes a puff)

I only wish I
could wish you

LOVE.
So deep.
Like it was
rolling in my sheets,
smoke trapped in my seats,
vibing to frank o.
while you’re acting like
you ain’t

THINKING ABOUT me.
no more

Ha.
Well wishes.

Oh, and don’t forget to tell the misses that you only like your kisses
one way.
Tell her
I’m sure you’ll fall in love with her
one day.
and maybe even go steady.
Then tell her I wish her
the best of LUCK,

you’ve obviously has the best of LOVE already.

(flicks cigar)

surround sound.

it’s like living as a mute
no matter how hard i try,
i can’t seem to convey to you
what’s on my mind.
it’s like all i have is my anxiety,
the tears in my eyes,
and the noise built up inside of me
to make you believe
that i’m hurting.
so much that although words are slightly undeserving,
i still would like to use them every once in a while.
for description.
instead of showing this emotional encryption
of all the things i wish i could say out my mouth.
if you would listen
maybe
all the angry
shit i scream inside,
i could finally say out loud.
all the tears i cry
i could finally dry them out.
if only you’d lend me your time
if only you’d hear me out.
so i wouldn’t be standing here begging you
to let my emotions speak in volumes
instead of being stuck on mute.

zodiacchic:

Want to learn how to read your birth chart? Click here!

—

Tracie Thoms

Good Hair